..Grounded...

Some days i spend all day dreaming myself out of my home, into the world around me. Dreaming of the possibilities and places i could be, should be , would be if i did not happen to be tied down by that little thing called my life. I often think that i could be sailing in Greece or working as a color artist in London or France, living up to my "potential".

The last few weeks i found myself dreaming of my life, at home with my family, and i couldn't be more "at home" in my thoughts. Something inside me lately finds me very much rooted to the spot that i have made into a home. I am truely in a Love affair with everything that is my life , i am passionate about my friends , family, and duties as a wife and lover. I feel the pull of mother earth with every whisper of the changing seasons. It grasps at every new feeling, new lesson learned..holds onto every pearl of laughter let go by my darling monkeys. I feel Change happening, and its telling me to live and grow with everything that is ...ME..

Oh What a night.

So girls night went fabulously as planned! It was wonderful to be away from the kids. Every mom deserves a small break to just be free , not have to watch her mouth and just talk a bout everything. Well let me tell you, my girls know how to make ya feel gooooood. the trip out to ski country was beautiful, there were No dead deer on the road( they tend to bring my mood down a smidge), singing to all of our favorite old songs,and the food and Drinks were AMAZING. It's so much easier to connect when you are an hour from home. oh, and we decided on an incentive trip to.... VEGAS BABY!!!

Dinner the other night went amazing. ill put the recipe and pictures up soon. Thanks to my girls for a great and memorable evening

oh.. and just because they are cute...Roley poley Coley

Captain Alexander pants

See?? adorable

Channeling Julia Childs...

Alright folks, brace yourselves, i'm going to learn to cook....(insert hysterical laughter).
I bought my first real cookbook and as we speak my husband and i are going through it trying to find the ones with the least instructions. so far the scallop burgers and the chicken and bean roll ups with avacado dipping sauce are at the top. two nights a week im going to try my hand at a new recipe and let ya know how it goes. Wish me ( and my family) luck.

Mike's best friend moved across the country to florida today. Life won't be the same with out dan kraft around. Thanks for being a great friend dan.

Why?

Why do people want to hurt each other? Seriously tho? WHY? So many of my friends have failing marriages, and their husbands (soon to be ex) husbands do so much to hurt them, to make them feel inadequate, to put them down and hold them there until they can no longer breathe. it hurts down deep in my soul. Marriage is a partnership you surrender to, you vow to get through everything Together. Mistakes happen, they are learning experiences, but to try to make someone feel like they are nothing? Kudos to you men. you know who you are, you REALLY are OUTSTANDING

While i'm cleaning house the boys are out grabbing a drink. ;o)

Not me Monday

My boys did Not dump my coffee on the laptop, not my sweet little angels. My son did NOT kick me in the face while changing his diaper then grab a hand full o goodness and wipe it into the rug this morning. My son did NOT pull the garbage over and dig thru for a snack while i was in the bathroom, goodness no, not him. My calm darling boys did not just throw blocks all over the living room and then hit me with a toy golf club. that would just be absurd. im so glad my boys do Not behave like that. who could ask for more.

At last..

Okay, i know i told myself i would never EVER use the tv as a babysitter, but does ten minutes to drink my tea and actually get my kids to eat their breakfast really hurt them?

They LOVE LOVE LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba, i think its the silliest show ever, but they sat on the couch with their lean pocket breakfast and stared, while finishing every last bite. Nothing smeared on the couch , walls, carpet, each other, nothing ground into the curtains!! Woo. For those of you that haven't been around for meal time, my kids have a slight aversion to their highchairs, unless youve dumped chocolate or crack in front of them. They scream and cry and throw food on the floor. Awful stuff. so for them to be quiet? And Eat? it's a miracle!

and the verdict of the day is.......

“The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.”Abraham Lincoln

Today was an extraordinairly ordinary day, thank goodness. Work was nothing special , the kids were their usual selves, short of their crankymonkey pants. Heather and Dan stopped by like they always do... I woke up thinking'for the love of all that is holy, let today be just a smidge better' Ah its good to know prayers are answered.I'm holed up in front of the computer with three or four windows open the T.V. on in the backround and not a care in the world, for right now at least.... Maybe i should quit while i'm ahead. Goodnight Neverland

he knows me too well, sprite and cheesedip for a bad day gone worse, is now much much better. god i love my husband. he's even running back to the store for not stale chips. le sigh..

Wish i was here....it envokes a calming spirit.

Laughing because otherwise...

i might scream cry pout or go completely batshit crazy! The house is still in Shambles, i just stress ate a Whole can of Chef Boyarde doused in franks hotsauce( my ass will thank me for that later, im sure). Who's Fantastic idea was it to give me a set of twins?!?!? Am i mother natures personal joke? They're not even that BAD. i just can't keep up. i cant keep an eye on them at all times, and i find my self frustrated to the point of exhaustion. They are sweet and snuggly and loud and whiney and i just see why i lose my temper so easy! I put Coleybear in his first time out today. i think it hurt me more than him. he was in the garbage ,AGAIN. because i threw out candy he knew there was more of, and simply wanted ..Mo? Mo mama? well. i seen red , i grabbed him by his tiny precious hand and hauled him off to his crib. Apparently Alexander and Cole do have an immense connection because the second his little feet hit the bottom of the crib Alex SCREAMED from the other room. for the entire minute( or was it an eternity) that i kept him confined for his "time out" alex sobbed at his feet. I felt like the worst mama ever. oh gosh. i never want to feel that way again... welcome to parenthood.

I want..

i want, no Need to be more than this..

Extreme puddle diving among other things...

Last night was one to remember. I honestly cant remember wheni laughed so hard. mom"s night out rocked big time. whens the last time you splashed in calf deep water fully clothed, with most of a bar watching. hurrayyyyyyyyyyy

on average..

in the ordinary average ten minutes i think i say no or stop that or get down or dont touch at least 37 times, more if they have had too much sugar or are feeling a little fiesty.

On Average i remove "things that are 'yucky' " 6 times, kiss boo boos at least twice, blow on food regardless if its dinner or a gummy they proudly retrieved from the depths of the couch cushions, just to make sure its definatly not too hot. crack out the vacum cleaner the moments cereal seems to willfully jump from the bag 3 and a half times (the half is usually when ive made it to the destination but the monkies have unplugged the vacum and then sat on the cereal like little knights guarding their kingdom.

screamed into a pillow three times , laughed at their antics countless time, and smiled once at the very thought that i get to shape these little boys lives

The Dreaded bathing Suit

Well here we are folks, finally a warmer weather stretch in good ol buffalo ny. Last year i was so busy with my twinfants i didnt even realize summer and come and gone. Here's the thing, that slammin beautiful bodacious babe body i had before my bundles of joy has gone on whats the word im looking for, hiatus? that'll have to do. where i once would strip down to my teeeeeny weeeeny bikinni,i am now actually sweating at the prospect of having to reveal any of my former self. My husbands great... ""your beautiful to me, and look at your children...blah blah blahand so on and so forth"
and in that mindset sure, ive earned my tiger striping, and my uncharted highways,freeways,underpasses,viaducts... you name it i probably got it.
i dont care what you say, kangaroo pouches should NOT be for public viewing, ah.. now on to bigger choices like, where did mike put all of his Large t-shirts. Look out water here i come

My life as i see it or ::how the heck did i get here::

Headstands, you know i never really gave them too much thought. I mean , come on what pleasure can come from the blood rushing to your head and mussing yoru hair up. Until i was shown a different way of looking at things.
My boys Cole and Alexander defiantly have a unique way of looking at things,being babies and all. When the boys , particularly alex become overwhelmed at life, never failingly will stick his butt in the air and head on the ground ::think downward dog yoga style:: and im convinced life simplifies. He is able to chill out and come back from whatever got him miffed.
If life really really Really was that simple

Life has a mom can be summed up by the words that were sent to us in a card from a well wisher on the birth of my twin boys welcome to the most wonderful and most challenging part of your life.

I Love my boys , i love being the boo boo kissing, bum wiping peekaboo playing, fruit snack bribing , 5 second rule believing , doting mom that i have become.
On the days that i have actually left the room to scream in a pillow i congratulate myself for making it as far as the bedroom without tripping over something that was deserted or as im convinced meticulously placed as booby traps. (monkey see monkey do..or more aptly named search and destroy as of late) my fabulous darling boys may or may not be out to get us as parents. Everyone loves the stories about the abrupt death of our beloved laptop, the phone in the bathtub, the phone in the bathtub again... well you get the point. i find myself only expressing the witty things they do. i keep the best for me, the snuggles on the pillow in the morning, the first smile of the day, the twintalk that means nothing to me yet. but im sure is full of meaning. exhausting me to the point of me druling on the keyboard ...
for now i am shutting down for routine maintnence , for this well oiled machine can not run on its own... Goodnight neverland