Saturday, December 26, 2009

the day after christmas, everyone was content
noone was thinking about the money they spent
the boys played on the floor with their trucks and their blocks
mommy lounged on the couch with her new slipper socks

the kitchens a mess, there's garbage under the tree
but everyones happy especially me
i got to spend time with the family, you see

and thats mostly what christmas means to me.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Two faces to wash, and four dirty hands
Two insistent voices, making demands
Twice as much crying, when things go wrong
The four eyes closing, with slumber song
Twice as many garments, blowing on the line
Two cherubs in the wagon, soaking up sunshine
Work I do for twins, naturally comes double
But four arms to hug me, repay all my trouble.
~Author Unknown
so, even my husbands jeans are tight today, WHAT was in those COOKIES??

yum. thanks everyone who came to the cookie exchange, it was loud rowdy and hetci. but i loved every minute of it. especially where the boys came off their sugar high, and passed out at 7:30 instead of 9

i think everyone today has a massive sugar hangover.

time to wrap the PRESENTS!!! YAY!!!!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

tis the season

gift (gft)
1. Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.
2. The act, right, or power of giving.
3. A talent, endowment, aptitude, or inclination.
tr.v. gift·ed, gift·ing, gifts
1. To present something as a gift to.
2. To endow with.

this holiday season has brought about a change in me, infact in many of us.
I've helped touch lives, and in return felt a warmth grow inside my heart thta on a day to day basis, now feels like it may be too big for my chest.

i've recently given away most of the boys baby clothing, some of their accessories that they have out grown, and with it. a small piece of my heart to every family that recieves the gifts that were given to them.
i find no need to hold onto that part of the past(save for a few teensy baby outfits that i put in their hope chests)

oh the feeling of giving, i think i take more pleasure than anyone i help out. i almost feel selfish, for helping out those in need, to satisfy a part of me that sometimes feels a bit lacking.

i've found a calling. don't expect it to stop.

Friday, December 11, 2009

i can hear the bells...

or maybe its all the punk kids with snow days, who insist being outside in subzero temperatures and blistering wind. yep. thats what im hearing. kids, where ARE your mothers? grandmothers? babysitters? legal guardians? its COLD out there. thus the NO school. HELLO???

ah. to be a kid and be immune to cold again.

ill stay snuggled warm inside in the meantime. :)

the tree is up the house is decorated, the kids are trying to dissasemble all my work, ah. its xmas time. let us indulge.

Monday, December 7, 2009

look. my kids on redbull.

hahah the boys re running around my kitchen in full out circles screaming at the top of their lungs.. if i could locate a camera it would be perfect. alas, he house has once again swallowed something whole. im sure it will be spil out sometime near mayday, or perhaps that every tricky selfproclaimed(mommmy needs a minute or a vailum) day.

okay back to zookeeping.

Friday, December 4, 2009

true friends are always together in spirit

Everybody longs to be part of something, to be accepted as an individual, into a group. don't get me wrong, i have a great existance as a mother and a wife, very exclusive rewarding groups. but i used to find myself needing, wanting to be so much more than the labels ive been given. that is, until recently when i found one special word that has so many levels of meaning, - FRIEND-"A true friend is someone that knows the song of your soul, and
sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
these past few months, i have found an amazing group of friends, who have each others backs without even blinking an eye. when i asked them to participate in helping out one of our own, they NOT ONCE asked , why, but How can i help you and how soon can we do it. I truely am Humbled by these woman, who have helped me find a part of myself i knew was there, but could not seem to make shine. i find myself finding a touch of color in things i never payed attention to and i and definatly looking towards the good things instead of the bad. i find gratitude in things i would of passed off, like the ability to feed my family, to clothe them, that we are able to keep one and other safe, and even the little things like, someone letting me in line in the drive through.

thus i digress. i want to Call each and every one of you woman out. and not with names, you ALL know who you are.

Love you, all of you, whether we've met or not. you ALL have a special place in my heart. and for that im truely greatful.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

you know what . i really have nothing to say. how weird is that...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh the Weather outside is frightful..

but the fires so delightful, and since we no place to go... let it RAIN?
Okay not that im complaining even an ounce here. but Wheres my beautiful fluffy clean snow?ive got the boys snow suits, coats hats mittens boots, you name it we got it.. and the boys are still able to play in hoodies. what gives? nothing kicks off the holiday season like some of the crystaly fluffy stuff. Instead, over here in buffalo. the snow capital of the east, it drizzles and looks darn right miserable outside.

i'm calling shennanigans on the whole situation.

now excuse me while i turn my christmas cd on and make cocoa and cookies.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

gooooooooood morning world, after an exciting dream session with vampires, my sexy husband, and climbing thru tubes and whirlwind mazes, i find myself much more exhausted than even before i went to sleep. ah to be alive in my dreams, is what i TRUELY live for.. i just wish i could visit a coffee shop while amongst my REM sessions.

i've found myself longing for adventure. a new adventure. lets see what i can come up with now. oh. and if someone wants to donate the Cullens house in the movie twilight... that'd be pretty much tits right now. i'll even do the windows

Saturday, November 21, 2009

we're off to see the wizard

Getting ready to go for the day has never been so....slow. Finally an Outing with Most of my friends that have children, all together, in the same place..... What are we crazy? Well ..a lttle but thats besides the point. We're brave, and happy to be parents. We love seeing our children grow and learn and interact with one and other, it gives us a glimpse into what they may be like in the future.
Today i get to see friends ive known a long time, meet new friends, and get to know better some wonderful woman whom i don't get to see too much...

don't you worry.. pictures to come :O)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Can we just talk about something...

So today, in the good nature of my self bettering program, i decided to give some waxing a try. my legs were cake. Time consuming but minimum pain.. so... i decided to give my lady town a shot.. HOLY MOTHER OF #@#$#%#^ OWWW.

if i ever meet the bitch that invented the brazillian wax, im going to slap her from here till Sunday. Of course, being the renegade that i am. i slathered my top half with warm drippy wax, thinking 'ah this too will be cake' WRONG. pulled the first strip off and saw stars, the feeling reminded me slightly of when they took the tape off my c section wound and pulled a staple out with it.. mind you i had five more strips to yank...

someone get me some tequila, and some ice.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Today the sun is shining. its beautiful out. i think it might very well be a better day.

the monkeys have yet to fling poo or get into anyting substancial yet. although they did take the paddle down and are scolding each other with it.. ( do i really look like that when i yell??)

i'm going shopping today for my secret santa gifts. and im SO!!! excited to shop for little girls.

oh. crap. gotta go. monkeys !! NO!!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009


for thursday to come, waiting for this sonogram is killing me!

it sucks not to know the outcome of what might, or might not be happening inside my body. i guess only time will tell.

keeping happy thoughts is tough right now tho. let me tell you.

im supposed to be taking it easy, doesn't the doctor know there is NO taking it easy with twins around? im exhausted. and when i overdo it i start to cramp. its horrible. its either neglect my kids, or neglect my body...

decisions decisions..


Saturday, October 10, 2009

use somebody cover.

this is just beautiful by the way. enjoy

times they are a changing

as are the seaons, it finally looks and smells of fall out there !the boys are outgrowing their size six shoes and fit in the coats my dad got them last year. their still a smidge short for two and three t pants, what can i say, they're so much like their daddy.
things are changing for us too...we've started looking at homes, just to see where we stand. and i suppose we're doing alright. but there has to be a way to make it. so... im going to start selling jewelry and continue to vamp up the hair business!!! who wants to be pretty?!!

note: pretty includes me, from this day on i promise the world i wont leave without lipgloss!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Financial Duress...

oh. the joys of money, or lack there of. on one hand i get to spend LOTS of time at home with the family. But i just CANT seem to get a hold on our budget. we try to cook and do things at home and be money savvy, but somewhere its going awry. It's hard to cook and clean and balence checkbooks and get everything paid on time. And if the moneys not there, it's just not there. My husband does a beautiful job of working hard and briging it home. but the bills are higher than the income.

So... here's my vow to do better this october, to have at least $200 in the bank left over so im not pulling my hair out and crying to my mommy.

Does anyone have any ideas? ANYONE!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009


May as well be my middle name, and the internet a tool of lucifer. Every day at naptime i have a to do list a mile long. What do i do? Sit on the internet! This weekend the computer is going OFF OFF OFF,( except to pay bills, and sneak a peak at my blog, play on photoshop, oh and catch up on face book..) ...see what i mean. HELP is there a therapy group or something i can join? meanwhile my kids get slightly ignored and the house gets(stays) messier. okay. for real. im off to clean up. Really.. REALLY!! ... after i finish reading those 6 other posts about people i dont really know and Their problems with cleaning up too....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My car broke twice today. Awesome.

Monday, September 21, 2009

First day of..

FALLing love with my husband over again

FALLing apart at the seams

FAlling for my innervoices yelling, "don't clean the house the knomes will do it
overnight while i'm sleeping"

FALLing over all the toys left out by my darling monkeys

FALLing down the rabbit hole

FALLing through the looking glass, seeing my life as it really is,FALLing into place

happy first day of fall..

i wonder what this semester of life will bring?

the crispness in the air, bonfires, leaves changing color, boots and peacoats, my heart almosts bursts, can't you hear it beating in time with the wind? i think it's changing.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Your Smile...

Just Melts me Inside

Makes my Heart Sing

Your curosity makes my heart swell with pride

Who knew that these two little miracles could change the very existance that i know?

Cole and Alexander your a day away from 19 months old!!! wowie! where has all the time gone?

Alexander, at 19 months you say shoes, more, juice, all done all gone, bye bye , love carrots and apple juice, pretzels and Hummus, love to cuddle and dance , spoke first, walked second, and steal the hearts of anyone you come across

Coleybear, you say uh oh like its your job, you climb and run and jump and bounce off anything you can climb on to. LOVE the cheese off of pizza, sneak soda pop when were not looking, and love to share with your brother and make him feel better when he's sad.

Could i ask for sweeter kids? i think not!

Monday, September 14, 2009

How to survive a sick baby

#1 Have a strong connection with your husband, i swear we keep each other sane. He's my rock. and i am his Xanax. lol.

#2 Laugh so you don't cry at the 13 hours of Whining Crying Med refusing hot sweaty little boy

#3 Have a little Faith, i don't care to whom or what you pray to. but when there are no other options, you know i'm there.

#4 Never Ever take your parents for granted, boy to they come in handy when your panicing.. thanks Mama papa dad, Mikeand Ellie

Xander pants was a little feverish on saturday, by sunday morning he was spiking a fever of 103.7 and refusing anything to eat or drink. We took him into the pediatrician who decided he may or may not have Strep Throat (he's to young for it, It's hard to say, Blah Blah Blah..) She proceeded to perscribe an antibiotic and suggested lots of rest. He did pretty well all day afterwords, today on the otherhand... Awful. didn't want anything AGAIN to eat or drink( we got some gingerale down him, by putting it in a doctor pepper bottle. haha took a nap with him. woke up.. 104.2 WHAT!!! Isn't ibuproferin and antibiotics supposed to make him feel better? my tired, quiet, lethargic , listless baby boy layed their and wimpered. After half hour of scrambling to do any and everything i could possibly do to make him better, he snapped out of it and was suddenly dancing and eating rasins.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Not having a computer sucks

Monday, September 7, 2009

Home from Vacation and....

I'm Totally and Utterly Exhausted.. isn't that how it's supposed to be though? And to think, the kids didn't miss me at all! It makes me sad to think about how much they are growing up and how much more independant they are now. They barely looked up from their toys when i walked in this morning. (sniffle)
But....our mini weekend away was grand in itself. i enjoyed the heck out of spending a night away with my Knight in Shining Armor, We battled long wait lines and conquered the fastest coasters, all in a days work of course.. and don't forget the barbaric Turkey Leg! yum yum yum yum yum. We got to eat whatever we wanted without having to share or have baby fingers snatching and running away. And.... i got to enjoy most of my coffee while my father in law chased the kids around his yard for the last bit of the morning.

We got home and there was a Labor day parade at the foot of our street so we strapped the kids in the stroller and scooted on down to enjoy the togies(horses) and the tuck tuck (fire trucks) , and get belted with gobs of treats rained down by each parade float and member of the election boards yes they were out shaking hands and kissing babies, lol

after about an hour and some sticky candy smudged tear stained cheeks, the boys went down for their nap...and didn't get up for....3 and 1/2 hours!!!!!! thanks babies. this crazy lady needed a little longer to rest.

ill post up a beautiful picture of my three favorite men,as soon as the computer stops being uncooperative.

Good Night Neverland.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Some days i spend all day dreaming myself out of my home, into the world around me. Dreaming of the possibilities and places i could be, should be , would be if i did not happen to be tied down by that little thing called my life. I often think that i could be sailing in Greece or working as a color artist in London or France, living up to my "potential".
The last few weeks i found myself dreaming of my life, at home with my family, and i couldn't be more "at home" in my thoughts. Something inside me lately finds me very much rooted to the spot that i have made into a home. I am truely in a Love affair with everything that is my life , i am passionate about my friends , family, and duties as a wife and lover. I feel the pull of mother earth with every whisper of the changing seasons. It grasps at every new feeling, new lesson learned..holds onto every pearl of laughter let go by my darling monkeys. I feel Change happening, and its telling me to live and grow with everything that is ...ME..

Oh What a night.

So girls night went fabulously as planned! It was wonderful to be away from the kids. Every mom deserves a small break to just be free , not have to watch her mouth and just talk a bout everything. Well let me tell you, my girls know how to make ya feel gooooood. the trip out to ski country was beautiful, there were No dead deer on the road( they tend to bring my mood down a smidge), singing to all of our favorite old songs,and the food and Drinks were AMAZING. It's so much easier to connect when you are an hour from home. oh, and we decided on an incentive trip to.... VEGAS BABY!!!

Dinner the other night went amazing. ill put the recipe and pictures up soon. Thanks to my girls for a great and memorable evening

oh.. and just because they are cute...Roley poley Coley

Captain Alexander pants

See?? adorable

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Channeling Julia Childs...

Alright folks, brace yourselves, i'm going to learn to cook....(insert hysterical laughter).
I bought my first real cookbook and as we speak my husband and i are going through it trying to find the ones with the least instructions. so far the scallop burgers and the chicken and bean roll ups with avacado dipping sauce are at the top. two nights a week im going to try my hand at a new recipe and let ya know how it goes. Wish me ( and my family) luck.
Mike's best friend moved across the country to florida today. Life won't be the same with out dan kraft around. Thanks for being a great friend dan.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Why do people want to hurt each other? Seriously tho? WHY? So many of my friends have failing marriages, and their husbands (soon to be ex) husbands do so much to hurt them, to make them feel inadequate, to put them down and hold them there until they can no longer breathe. it hurts down deep in my soul. Marriage is a partnership you surrender to, you vow to get through everything Together. Mistakes happen, they are learning experiences, but to try to make someone feel like they are nothing? Kudos to you men. you know who you are, you REALLY are OUTSTANDING

Monday, August 24, 2009

While i'm cleaning house the boys are out grabbing a drink. ;o)

Not me Monday

My boys did Not dump my coffee on the laptop, not my sweet little angels.
My son did NOT kick me in the face while changing his diaper then grab a hand full o goodness and wipe it into the rug this morning.
My son did NOT pull the garbage over and dig thru for a snack while i was in the bathroom, goodness no, not him.
My calm darling boys did not just throw blocks all over the living room and then hit me with a toy golf club. that would just be absurd.
im so glad my boys do Not behave like that. who could ask for more.

At last..

Okay, i know i told myself i would never EVER use the tv as a babysitter, but does ten minutes to drink my tea and actually get my kids to eat their breakfast really hurt them?

They LOVE LOVE LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba, i think its the silliest show ever, but they sat on the couch with their lean pocket breakfast and stared, while finishing every last bite. Nothing smeared on the couch , walls, carpet, each other, nothing ground into the curtains!! Woo. For those of you that haven't been around for meal time, my kids have a slight aversion to their highchairs, unless youve dumped chocolate or crack in front of them. They scream and cry and throw food on the floor. Awful stuff. so for them to be quiet? And Eat? it's a miracle!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

and the verdict of the day is.......

“The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.”Abraham Lincoln
Today was an extraordinairly ordinary day, thank goodness. Work was nothing special , the kids were their usual selves, short of their crankymonkey pants. Heather and Dan stopped by like they always do... I woke up thinking'for the love of all that is holy, let today be just a smidge better' Ah its good to know prayers are answered.I'm holed up in front of the computer with three or four windows open the T.V. on in the backround and not a care in the world, for right now at least.... Maybe i should quit while i'm ahead. Goodnight Neverland

Saturday, August 22, 2009

he knows me too well, sprite and cheesedip for a bad day gone worse, is now much much better. god i love my husband. he's even running back to the store for not stale chips. le sigh..
Wish i was envokes a calming spirit.

Laughing because otherwise...

i might scream cry pout or go completely batshit crazy! The house is still in Shambles, i just stress ate a Whole can of Chef Boyarde doused in franks hotsauce( my ass will thank me for that later, im sure). Who's Fantastic idea was it to give me a set of twins?!?!? Am i mother natures personal joke? They're not even that BAD. i just can't keep up. i cant keep an eye on them at all times, and i find my self frustrated to the point of exhaustion. They are sweet and snuggly and loud and whiney and i just see why i lose my temper so easy! I put Coleybear in his first time out today. i think it hurt me more than him. he was in the garbage ,AGAIN. because i threw out candy he knew there was more of, and simply wanted ..Mo? Mo mama? well. i seen red , i grabbed him by his tiny precious hand and hauled him off to his crib. Apparently Alexander and Cole do have an immense connection because the second his little feet hit the bottom of the crib Alex SCREAMED from the other room. for the entire minute( or was it an eternity) that i kept him confined for his "time out" alex sobbed at his feet. I felt like the worst mama ever. oh gosh. i never want to feel that way again... welcome to parenthood.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I want..

i want, no Need to be more than this..

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Extreme puddle diving among other things...

Last night was one to remember. I honestly cant remember wheni laughed so hard. mom"s night out rocked big time. whens the last time you splashed in calf deep water fully clothed, with most of a bar watching. hurrayyyyyyyyyyy

Saturday, August 8, 2009

on average..

in the ordinary average ten minutes i think i say no or stop that or get down or dont touch at least 37 times, more if they have had too much sugar or are feeling a little fiesty.

On Average i remove "things that are 'yucky' " 6 times, kiss boo boos at least twice, blow on food regardless if its dinner or a gummy they proudly retrieved from the depths of the couch cushions, just to make sure its definatly not too hot. crack out the vacum cleaner the moments cereal seems to willfully jump from the bag 3 and a half times (the half is usually when ive made it to the destination but the monkies have unplugged the vacum and then sat on the cereal like little knights guarding their kingdom.

screamed into a pillow three times , laughed at their antics countless time, and smiled once at the very thought that i get to shape these little boys lives

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Dreaded bathing Suit

Well here we are folks, finally a warmer weather stretch in good ol buffalo ny. Last year i was so busy with my twinfants i didnt even realize summer and come and gone. Here's the thing, that slammin beautiful bodacious babe body i had before my bundles of joy has gone on whats the word im looking for, hiatus? that'll have to do. where i once would strip down to my teeeeeny weeeeny bikinni,i am now actually sweating at the prospect of having to reveal any of my former self. My husbands great... ""your beautiful to me, and look at your children...blah blah blahand so on and so forth"
and in that mindset sure, ive earned my tiger striping, and my uncharted highways,freeways,underpasses,viaducts... you name it i probably got it.
i dont care what you say, kangaroo pouches should NOT be for public viewing, ah.. now on to bigger choices like, where did mike put all of his Large t-shirts. Look out water here i come

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My life as i see it or ::how the heck did i get here::

Headstands, you know i never really gave them too much thought. I mean , come on what pleasure can come from the blood rushing to your head and mussing yoru hair up. Until i was shown a different way of looking at things.
My boys Cole and Alexander defiantly have a unique way of looking at things,being babies and all. When the boys , particularly alex become overwhelmed at life, never failingly will stick his butt in the air and head on the ground ::think downward dog yoga style:: and im convinced life simplifies. He is able to chill out and come back from whatever got him miffed.
If life really really Really was that simple

Life has a mom can be summed up by the words that were sent to us in a card from a well wisher on the birth of my twin boys welcome to the most wonderful and most challenging part of your life.

I Love my boys , i love being the boo boo kissing, bum wiping peekaboo playing, fruit snack bribing , 5 second rule believing , doting mom that i have become.
On the days that i have actually left the room to scream in a pillow i congratulate myself for making it as far as the bedroom without tripping over something that was deserted or as im convinced meticulously placed as booby traps. (monkey see monkey do..or more aptly named search and destroy as of late) my fabulous darling boys may or may not be out to get us as parents. Everyone loves the stories about the abrupt death of our beloved laptop, the phone in the bathtub, the phone in the bathtub again... well you get the point. i find myself only expressing the witty things they do. i keep the best for me, the snuggles on the pillow in the morning, the first smile of the day, the twintalk that means nothing to me yet. but im sure is full of meaning. exhausting me to the point of me druling on the keyboard ...
for now i am shutting down for routine maintnence , for this well oiled machine can not run on its own... Goodnight neverland